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I intend to reiterate my log of personal events.
This is a function I intend to keep for myself, in order to better recall events in my life.

In the past year since my last journal entry I've changed in many ways. It's true I always say that, but I hope that I always can say that.

Unfortunately this year is not what I was hoping it would be for me. My first year of college was full of unfolding excitement and adventure and new experience. Maybe it's part of the normal cycle but this year seems redundant and dull.

I quit my stifling job at the doctor's office and am without work and took only four classes this semester which has left me with far too much free time. It would seem like this is a good thing at first glance but I miss being busy and it has given me a tendency to return to my slacker habits from high school. Being less involved at school has made it harder to make friends since it is the prime hub of socialization.

I fear becoming emotionally distant and I miss my family and high school friends terribly. My car is disabled, without brakes, though this has been something of a mixed blessing since not using it saves money and the feeling of riding my bike again is nice.

It feels like there are always more things I mean to get done than things that actually do get done. The days slide quickly from one into the other and before I realize they're here they've all but slipped through my hands, nothing done, nothing completed. Maybe it's just the waning daylight hours.

More and more I've been drawn to an interest in a secular image of Christ I've been cultivating. As the world's most well known preacher of non-resistance and pacifism, he is an inspiration to me since I carry the same beliefs as being key to successful human global living. However I, as a human in 2010 can see an immense amount of the after-effects of a successful attempt to bring these ideals to mankind. Christianity became a major religion, but the atrocities committed in the name of a man who practiced total non-violence are shocking to behold. As is the practice of clinging desperately to the most improbable portions of biblical text, as though the main point of "The boy who cried wolf" was a note on how to best protect your sheep. I am not an expert on religious history, however, so I will not attempt to pass any judgement on crusaders or fundamentalists. I'm sure there are reasons for them beyond my ken.

I've been terribly unhappy lately, I hope soon I will be able to feel as good as I have been feeling about life until this semester came.
  • Listening to: My mom (For Once)
  • Reading: Dorian Gray (Not Helping)
  • Watching: The Grass Grow.
This is my last weekend left of this life.
A life under the roof of my parents. The grass and flowers that I see through the same glass door that I've seen them for five years still nod and sway the same as always.

Change is so powerful.
You know?

No. It's hard to wrap your head around it.
Impermanence. Like the fourth dimension. Time. It is the fourth dimension.

Every aspect of my childhood. . . every bug caught, every book read to me by a parent, every toy lost, every school field trip, every best friend. . . is now. . . and always will be. Past. History. Memory.

Some I will retain for a lifetime.
Others will doubtless be forgotten.
Because humans suffer from a thing terrible and glorious, hideous and necessary, unwanted and utterly good.

Planned obsolescence.
Every see the sequel to "The Brave Little Toaster"?
That's where I first heard the word.
Appliances that are made to break after a few years so they have to be replaced.
That way the company keeps making money.

People are built this way.
We're made to fall apart after a while.
On the cosmic scale of things a very short while.
I understand why Keats was so fascinated with the idea that he'd die before he got to do all the things he wanted.

If there's one thing that's still terrifying to me it's thinking about all this change. This chaos and the temporariness of everything.

But I have spun off in a different direction than where I what I wanted to talk about.
I'm moving out now. I'm going to live my own life.
It's such a strange feeling. For years I watched kids do this and now it's my turn.
I'm really actually very excited, but it's got me so emotional it's hard to tell.
I doubt my life will be this simple and easy for a long time.


I have three more days of it.
  • Listening to: Death from Above 1979
  • Reading: Ulysses…

AC, a radio, and coffin rollers.
What more does a guy need?
Yeah. . . I just sort of randomly discovered that my deviation "Bullets" is on the first page for that search reference. ^^

This might not seem like a big deal but considering there are more than 10,000 search results for bullets I was pretty pleased. Lmao

I was wondering how people kept finding that one. . .
  • Playing: WoW Zombie.
Yeah. . .
I'm gonna try to comment more soon. X3
Bwah, I got a new ID up.
I totally gave up on the winter comissions. :surrender:
I have no idea what I was thinking.
I was doomed from the beginning.
There was no way I could have kept track, much less finnished a shot for everyone on my list.
I still haven't uploaded photos I took in October.
I'm sorry if anyone was looking forward to them.
      You may be surprised, what with my generally cynical attitude, to know that I am a major Christmas person. XD It's a great season! From the German Yuletide traditions, to Jewish Hannukah. We have it all in my family. I have more to complain about people who complain about Christmas than I possibly could have about the actual season. I don't care what religion you are, or wether you think it's too comercialized. It's an opportunity to be really happy, and there is no logic in passing that up. :heart:

      Anywho. I want to take a photo for all of my friends! Everyone! Please don't hold back, but make it something I can accomplish. (I.E. photos of me are easy, photos of the Eiffel Tower are not.) I wish I could send you all Christmas presents for you patience, and generosity. But this is the best I can do. So to everyone on my watch list, Particularly PsychoColette, Dimmsinner, Belladonna-Atropa, ilikestraws, Kalzenith and BriquinsMind, Poeticallylost and El-Poeta-Loco, Insanechick, AmateurArtist, Octane and Hexocain, The-Machine, BillytheKangaroo, Untoldmysteries and Damu-Kupenda, ErnestHildred, Sharkylm99, D0llf4c3 and Lostcontact, and Nenesan. Wow, that's a lot. Now make sure to tell me who or what you want a picture of!

PC: The Spirit of Christmas
Insanechick: Christmas Treats
Sharkylm: Me apparently. . .
Billythekangaroo: Nice and happy
Ernest Hildred: Favorite Person/Place
Belladonna-Atropa: Someone like her Character.

Get your procrastination pants on.
  • Listening to: Mixed CD: A Christmas present from Janna
  • Reading: Embracing Defeat
  • Watching: MST 3K
  • Playing: World of Warcraft
(It helps if you try to read this journal in that sort of news announcer monotone voice. . . you know the one, the one that does that weird thing towards the end of the sentance where is sort of slows down or something?)
There are times in every man's life when he, with an extravagent compilation of shock, amazement, elation, confusion, and amusement, cries out to the world:


. . .
Today is just such a day.
I am eating one of my own socks.
Yes, I'm carrying it to school tomorrow in a little brown paper bag on which is written "Eat Mah Sock!" and is accompanied by a D:<. I boiled it and dried it in the oven, the I cut it up with a pair of scissors into edible pieces and intend to consume it thouroghly. Might I add that it is a strange thing to throw a sock into a pot of boiling water. It's one of those things which you are subconsciously adverse to. It just doesn't register with your brain that this is something you should be doing. . . on purpose. It was especially funny since it was a dark blue sock and it turned the water purple-black. I suppose some of you may be wondering exactly why it is I'm ingesting this chewy piece of footwear. Well let's just say I lost a bet. Several of the people who are in my advisory period (otherwise known as study hall)
are completely obsessed with this game:…
So I told them, them being fairly close friends of mine that if they scored more than 400, I would eat one of my own socks. Needless to say I didn't actually expect it to work. But on the 15th, one of them showed me a printed out page with the gameover screen showing an indesputeable score of 428. So, me being a good sport, It looks like I'll be eating a very interesting lunch tomorrow. And yes, part of the reason I'm doing this is because a girl I know said I wasn't actually going to do it. . . Wish me luck. XD
  • Listening to: The background music from Tunnel Racer
  • Eating: Socks. . . . For real.
*insert Monty Python soundclip*
"I'm not dead yet!"
But it's true and I'm sorry I've been neglecting you all for so long! :'(
Special appollogies out to all my friends.
I promise I will be back eventually.
  • Reading: Embracing Defeat
  • Watching: Are You Being Served?
  • Playing: World of Warcraft
  • Eating: Banana Bread
  • Drinking: Chocolate Milk
Well, I get to go to homecoming tomorrow. And I actually have a date. Her first name's Devon, she's not going to wear a dress (which is cool with me), she's got an over protective step-father and. . . a pet wolf. . . Actually that's about all I know. ^^; She's in my second period ceramics class, I just felt like asking her, so I did. She seems smart and laid back. And she liked the idea of me wearing a tuxedo with a top hat and cane, just to be silly. So it should be a fun night. Also some of you may have noticed me complaining about girls lately. Well, I just want to ask people to stop telling me to enjoy being single. Seriously, I've had like five people tell me that. I forget who they are, but still. My Muslim friend is going through Ramadan right now and she's complaining about not being able to get food. But you don't hear me telling her to enjoy being hungry! :shakefist:
  • Reading: Embracing Defeat
  • Watching: Vandread
  • Eating: Pineapple Chunks
Okay, so today I'm heading downtown for a concert at our local club "The Chameleon" to do an interview with a band called "Kill Hannah." They sound alright, I think. They're not the music I usually listen to but they have some talent, anyway. They're from Chicago and draw a lot of their inspiration from the city, which I think is really cool. They've been on tour for a long time now, with bands like H.I.M., and The Sounds. It's my first interview with a band this famous, so I'm a little bit nervous. (for those of you who don't know, I work for a newspaper.) I'm supposed to get photos backstage before the show, and write an article. If you want to check them out and their big song "Lips Like Morphine" you can do it here: at their website, or here: at their myspace. So it should be pretty cool day. I'll be a little busy, so see you tomorrow!


Edit: Okay, the Kill Hannah thing was awesome, anyone who hasn't heard them should. I think their lead singer may be one of the nicest people I've met in ages.
I now have a Mowhawk.
Yes, it's true.
I've had long hair since the sixth grade and now it's almost entirely gone.
My hair is almost constantly full of something or other.
And I now have serious problems getting into cars.

Also, I've permanently scrapped the Japanese site of the day.
Nobody else liked it, or seemed interested at all, really.
Guess I'll stick to verbal sarcasm, over written.
And go back to writting ordinary journals.

And thirdly, on a happy note, my "Big O" DVDs are finally here.
So me and my mowhawk will be immersed in giant robot land for a few days.
*Super Robot Pose*
*makes missle and explosion sounds*
But seriously, that's not the part of the show that interests me.
Regardless, even though my DA acount is working well again I may not answer comments for a while, because I'll be too busy watching Roger Smith, and R. Dorothy.

My God, I'm such a dweeb.
Welcome back!
It's Japanese site of the day!
The only journal to provide completely unconventional boredom.

Play with your food!:…:

It's a site devoted to decorative food. Nothing unusual, right? Well it is when it's devoted to making art out of a boxed, office worker lunch. Albeit clever, these designs seem ridiculously unnecessary, considering it's just going to look like a pile of mush before you even get to work. It's got a pretty impressive spread though. You can have a bunny… , a dead, tropical fish… (just what I always wanted to find in my lunchbox), a clock… ("Hey, what time is it?" "I don't know, look at your rice ball."), Or a...... An, umm.... sort of tire lookin' thing.....  maybe it's uhh.... oh, who cares. It's a thing… . This one from the site is the spitting image of a live cat… . Oh, it is a live cat... Eww... Who would eat a live cat for lunch? And this one captures perfectly my general reaction to this page:… . But my favorite is by far the Pika lunch… . Why? Well, because Pica is nothing less than the name of an eating disorder where the suferer craves inedible objects such as dirt, wood, or toothpaste. Coincidence? I think not....
I think I'm going to bust if I don't get out of this goddamn-freakin'-drudge-of-a-septic-outlet-into-the-once-beautiful-Atlantic-Ocean. Otherwise known as New Jersey.

I'm writing this, and taking a last chance to write this and answer my messages from a stupid cybercafe. $4 dollars for 15 freaking minutes!?! God! Anyhow I look forward to answering my ten-thousand messages when I get home next Thursday. And when I do I am going to finally resurrect my Japanese Website of the Day project so it can accumulate in your message box, like tar in the lungs of a chainsmoker, every time you leave the computer for more than a day.

"...Wish you were here--- instead of me." Ending of the last transmission Richard Halliburton made before the Chinese junkt he was attempting to sail across the Pacific sunk in a squall.

P.S. If any of you actually live in New Jersey: You probably hate it even more than me so I don't actually feel the need to appollogize.

Japanese site of the day: May '06

Sat May 20, 2006, 2:55 PM
Today's site was sponsored by Nenesan.

Hello all! This thing has been put off for a while due to finals! I don't think anyone actually cares but I wanted to say so none the less

Past Websites:…:…:…:…:…:…:…:…:…:

"Don't squander the gold of your days, listening to the tedious, or giving your life away to the ignorant and the common. These are the sickly aims, the false ideals, of our age." -Dorian Grey
  • Reading: The Royal Road to Romance (READ THIS BOOK)
  • Watching: Benny Hill
I am going to start something, because until now, my Journal has basically bored you all to tears with dun accounts of my superflous personal life. From today onward I am going to present to you a new, weird, and possibly seizure causing :crazy: ... :spotlight-right:Japanese Website:spotlight-left: Every Day (part of your balanced diet)

-Please note I am DEFINITELY too lazy to actually do this EVERY day, yet I will try none the less.

:bulletgreen: Today's Website: Today I would like to begin with a very special hello to the makers of today's site. You all suck. You have no taste. And as is the case with many Japanese blogs: you type too much worthless drivle about your meaningless pathetic lives.

The difference between this blog and the myrads of others? Not much. But it is funny. The first few pics don't suggest much even when you dig through piles of kanji to get at them. And you guys thought peoples' Myspaces were dull. The huge, electromagnetic energy spewing, plasmatic, monstrous devil creature is a tad interesting, even if it is probably just another charicature of Kirsty Ally. But after that. Whoah! The makers of this doll were obviously compensating for something. Either that or Mr. Dashing and endowed, here, is actually a Celtic warrior who reputedly fought errr... All Naturale. Though, the unsightly assortment of features congealling in what would be the face region of a normal homosapien and the prosthetic hand would seem to suggest actor Mark Hamil who lost his role's hand to a lightsaber in the climax of the fifth Starwars movie and his real good looks to a square foot of gravel during a bad motorcycle accident. After that it just gets worse. Upon leaping into action in the next image he seems to have magically aquired a kimono. Or rather a bathrobe stolen from a La Quinta hotel in New Jersey that he's attempting to pass off as a Kimono. After getting his sword back he takes a trip to the hair salon where he aparently scalps a Barbie's brown-haired, and deliberately less attractive, friend; and fixes her hair to the top of his monochrome flesh-colored head. Now, however he also chooses to swap his sword for an industrial size sack-lifting hook that dockworkers use in movies about the Great Depression. Unsatisfied with this modernization our shaggy samurai also decides to attatch a Coldwar gas mask. Just in case the enemy Shogun decide to utilize tear gas technology that won't be invented for nine hundred years. But for now here's "Samurai, am I?", ranking a solid 10 on the blog suck-o-meter.…:

:bulletgreen:Yesterday's Website: Is it French? Is it Spanish? Is it Japanese? The world may never know. Which is no great tragedy considering most of the world doesn't give a rat's !%@. The latter being much more rich in protein, though healthier broiled than fried. Speaking of mammalian posteriors have you seen the conga dancing row of vest clad pantless kittens in this perturbed website? Kittens in provocative Roman orgy pose. That's wrong even by my standards. Oi, PITA, have a look at this... This cartoon was evidently cancelled for very good reasons. I have to admit however: I like the first picture. Evidently fed up with being prematurely evicted from a comfortable bed and warm woodland home by hulking, and sparodically clad, carnivores, Goldilocks has decided to get John Edwards on their bear behinds and summon the spirits of the deceased to do her bidding. The ensuing photo, what with the owl having enormous kiwi halves for eyes and the camel woman with the melting face, appears as though someone had the bright idea of walking in the forest during a bad acid trip. As for pic #3 I only have one thing to say: Interspecies Gang-Bang. The next two at the bottom are nondescript but the final one "Supercar Cattiger" and "Superobots" seemsso Painfullyout ofplace asto makeone quitehorribly confused. But for now here's "Wordfusion and Animal Husbandry"…:

Past Websites:…:…:…:…:…:…:…:…:…:…:…:
Mood: :poke:
Listening to: "The Baba Yaga" by Mussorsgky

It's raining. I love the rain. But I really hope it doesn't keep raining. Why you ask? because. Tomorrow is a very important day. I'm going to the local coffee shop/Mexican restuarant, Senorita Burrita, with:

My girl friend Alyssa:
Her best friend, Sam:
Her other best friend, Kayla:
And another friend, Rachel, whom I don't think has a DA.

Right now, her friend from California is over visiting at her place. This also makes me glad because they're very close. I just can't wait to see her tomorrow. She really does deserve a better guy than me.
mood :clap:

Yes! Today, another good day, I managed to locate a bag of wasabi (very spicy) covered peanuts disguised as innocent easter eggs, in a candy bag! These come from a local store that speciallizes in fudge and wasabi, sometimes called Japanese horseradish; this creates quite a problem as they tend to put out free samples of wasabi peas and stock their display case with fudge. Ignorant people run right up and stuff their mouth with what they believe to be delicious fudge, but usually recieve a rather nasty shock. So anyhow I handed these out all day to unwary victims at school until the bag ran out. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun, man I'm twisted.

But the best part of today was coming home to see that Alyssa left me a two month anniversary present… on her account! Dang I must be annoying...
mood: :groucho:

Hah! I did It! I found them! Muahahahahaha!!!
I found my Homeless Person Gloves! They were under my couch! I am now a whole person again! Behold as I have become a functioning member of society, once more! And, on top of that my Chairman Mao T-shirt has arrived! Huzzah! Exactly why I ordered a shirt with an animated version of Chairman Mao I don't really know, But Huzzah none the less. And Even more exciting, The twenty-sixth will be Alyssa and my two month anniversary. (Excessive? Yes, probably) And I have already purchased something for her!! but down to the reason today's post is killed by anticipation.

:bulletgreen:1. I can't wait to show this stuff to people!!

:bulletgreen: 2. I can't wait to take pictures of this stuff for my boring site!! I'd do it tonight but I have to wait or else I'll give Alyssa's gift away.
Mood: :ahoy:
Listening to: Cynical Girl, by Marshal Crenshaw

Emoticon: (Because Everyone Wants to be a Pirate)
also known as BEWP.

Yes! haha I FINALLY got to visit my girlfriends house, I felt terrible because she was ill, but I was just too excited to see her again. God damn she's to good for me.  I also successfully managed to tickle her untill she hyperventilated and consequently felt awful with myself.
Ah, I was never so happy to see a sick person in my entire life! :D

Speaking of which you should all check out her photography, but I really have to admit that I have been watching and thinking about "One Piece" a whole lot lately ( I've heard that that can be linked to cancer ) I just want you all to be forewarned in case I decide to post a really crappy picture.
mood: :lonely:


I am currently prohibited from speaking with the only person I want to see as a necessary part of my day, the person of course is my girlfriend, the prohibitor? My freaking parents. The grounds for such treatment? The fact that I had made a futile attempt at possessing a social life, the only visable outcome of that to my mom however is some absurd combination of pornography and pregnancy. I don't think I will ever actually be this angry again in my life. I am angry with myself of course, for being the biggest all fired jerk to ever roam this massachistic litrine we call a planet. Alyssa, if you read this I'm sorry to the eighteenth power. Eeeuurgh....
I'm now going to resume my life: one big analogy to shooting one's self in the foot.

Hope you all have a nice day.